Week 26

• Is all of this hair on my stomach a new thing, or is it just easier to see since the whole area is stre-e-e-tched out?
• Why were my fingernails like iron last week and why are they like fine china this week?
• Am I wearing a wig? I don't recognize this limp spaghetti on my head.
• I thought every woman got beautiful skin during pregnancy as an extra measure of grace ... so where did this giant zit and ultra dry skin come from?
• No Dave, it's not Essau sleeping next to you, it's just getting tough to reach my legs with a razor.
• How do I look like I'm feeling? A person is making his bed on my bladder and kicking everything in reach.
• Hey lady, stop staring. This is not a weird accumulation of belly fat -- there is a baby in there!
• I really never thought that some of my maternity clothes would become too small.
• In addition to that thought, if you see the middle button on my shirt undone, please tell me and don't let me walk around like that for an hour!